Hi, My Name is Stevo

♥ Bruisey

The StinkCunt roams among us. She’s as elusive as the BigFoot, hence no pictures, but she is more dangerous than anything possible.

This creature is after your boyfriends, your best friends, and your smelly neo hippy biker kid friends. She just wants to swallow everything into her StinkCunt and there is no stopping her. 

There’s been a handful of eyewitness who can describe her accurately enough for an artist rendition but I’m no artist. So, I’m going to describe her as she has been decribed to me, Red Hair, Innocent Smile, an Odor beyond Belief that emenates from her nether regions, and dressed as if she belonged in the 70’s. She often frequents the local coffee shops and tends to attract the more aromatic of individuals particularly boys who don’t shower often.

If you see her, or have friends who have been face to face with the StinkCunt, please for the love of god and anything holy and sacred, call the local authorities to have her put down. 

Oh, and lock your doors, there’s no telling what she’s up to.

Yep. Eat your heart out.

                                 Captured at the JCPenney in the Governor Square mall.

Submitted by Carly Bales:

I don’t remember what was going on here other than Ian and Stevo were rolling around in my living room moaning and there were skrimps involved. 

Generally, Stevo was the dude in the corner at our parties where I’d have to reassure concerned people that I actually knew him. 

I don’t remember anecdotes about Stevo back in the day but moreso I remember the ever-present aura of Stevo.

Submitted by Seema Shariat:

Location: Tally, Fl.
Date: Sometime, 2006.

Of all my fondest memories of the boy, there was one hair-raising, shuddersome, and overall pale night when the both of us decided to hit the local AMC theatre for shitshows and giggles.  We were a group of 6 or 7 walking, talking, baby Bela Legosis. Rotten flasks and plastic 7-Up bottles filled to the sticky, sloppy, point-of-exploding with vodka and trotting into the Johnny Depp version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory were the main themes of our agenda—although my memory is a bit leafy…

We did what every stand up citizen in Tallahassee does: smuggle so much alcohol into movie theaters that by the time the previews are over you’re taking turns pissing in hallways and trashcans, then with the THUD! of hollow, piss-filled fallen metal, something emerges from the darkness. A man? Holding a stolen poster of the movie you’re supposed to be watching? 

And so it is at this moment when you find yourself in real movie—the damn 1931 version of Dracula! So you’re running from some long shadow of sorts—you can’t distinguish exactly what it is, but you’re so scared your sneakers are squishing as you run because you forgot to pull your pants up mid-pee-pee. 

A week later your phone rings. “Unknown Calling” the screen reads. You answer, and OINK! It’s some southern cop yelling into the receiver “DOWN’T CHEW MEYESS WIYITH MEEE STEEE-VO! YOU GIT YOUR SORRY AYASS DOYOWN TO THE AYE-EM-SEA-Y AND RITUHRN THAYAT POW-STER!” 

But you’re not Stevo. And you didn’t steal a poster. Although you are bewildered as fuck. So you do what every nice friend-of-a-dracula would do, return the poster to the cop so that your friend, a man with a “questionable” history regarding Romania, governments, legal systems dating back to the Victorian era, wouldn’t have to deal with any potential charges. 

Please send all Stevo anecdotes, fan-fictions, videos, and pictures to himynameisstevo@gmail.com.

                             Live from Momo’s Pizza. Ghost of Stevo’s Future candid.

Submitted by Daniel Do:

A friend once asked me if Stevo is a crust-punk, and I said, “Nah. He’s just crust.”

                           Captured on Gaines Street on August 8th, 2011 at 16:19.

♥~~~Soft Stevo~~~♥:

Black Power Stevo (O_O):

Sexy Stevo :P~~~: